Filed under: Uncategorized
I was waiting for Joy to get off school one day and stood outside the soccer field to watch the soccer match between 2 primary school teams. The security guard kindly came to me and said that if I wanted to watch I had to watch it inside so that I will not distract the kids from playing their game. Since Joy was due out any moment, I decided to wait in the car.
This started me thinking, our children are taught to concentrate in an environment that has been artificially cleared of distraction.
Hmm, how effective can that be? We all know that in real life, even at professional games, you still get the occasional rowdy crowd or over zealous supporters. How can they play their best games if they are not trained to be in the moment, i.e. to focus on the game and ignore all environmental factors. Granted, it was just a neighbourhood schools friendly match, but I am curious how we train our young these days to focus?
By being over protective and wanted to give them the best environment and best resources, we rob them of the ability to be flexible and having a sense of survival instinct.
Focus is about having a clear goal and making a conscious decision to do something regardless of the environment and resources that one has.
How are we training ourselves and our children focus these days? I am indeed curious.
Felicia
Filed under: Financial advice from a financial moron
Have you ever had the experience of doing something to save a few dollars and end up spending more? A wise men once said: “Penny wise Pound foolish”.
It is so easy to say that to another, but with the economic tsunami around us, it is so easy to fall into this trap. A family member decided that he is going to be prudent and opted to buy less expensive working shoes. The result, his feet hurt tremendously and he went out to buy a slightly more expensive pair and it broke after one month of walking.
I asked a curious question; “In the past, did you have a pair of shoes that you are most comfortable in?”
“Yes, it was Brand XYZ but it is pretty expensive but it lasted for a while…”
“Ok, if you add the prices of all the pairs of shoes you have bought in the last 3 months, how does that compare to this pair of XYZ shoes?”
“Of course, they cost more than the pair of XYZ.” followed by a sheepish look.
Here was the financial expert in the family, but yet in his mathematical calculation, he has forgotten about the value of ownership. If we look at everything at cost level, it really doesn’t makes much sense because cost is an expenditure and once expended…” Poof” … its gone.
Whereas if we look at something from a value of ownership perspective, we may make very different purchasing decision.
In what areas are you being penny wise pound foolish? How is that decision hurting you and depleting the value you should be getting from your purchase?
What other areas in your life can you see to increase the value of ownership?
Borrowing a Cantonese saying that my mother taught me” “贵买平用“。
Which loosely translates to if you buy quality and higher price goods, the cost of usage is lower as you can use it for a log time.
Thanks for coming along to my learnings from life.
Wishing you blessed abundance,
Felicia
Filed under: Uncategorized
I read on the HK papers today that 3 in 5 white-collar workers in HK are not sick but they also not happy. This is interesting for me as I started to live in HK about 1 month ago and many wonderful things about HK struck me. The spectacular ocean views, hilly mountains, skyscrapers and the energy of the city.
As I looked beneath the surface of the many splendoured elements of HK, I became aware of the language that people use everyday. There seems to be a lot of negative energy going on… in fact, when I discussed this with friends, I find that this is very much the HK culture. To improve everday, to seek greater wealth and proserity everyday, to excel everyday is the goal of every HK person. Whilst the learning and development tone of the energy is excellent, the undertone is that the individual is insecure and needs to look outside to prove oneself. For example, carrying the latest branded handbags for ladies, driving the latest, trendiest car, giving branded education to one’s children etc.
With inflation and economy slow downs, the pressure from both the internal and external is compressing the individual. Unhappiness or stress is formed usually because one is not able to accept what is.
According to Eckhart Tolle, if one is able to focus on this very present moment and be grateful that all there is in our lives, there will be no unhappiness or stress.
B
Filed under: Uncategorized
We have started a new journey with our 6 year old. That is teaching her to learn how to learn. As a coach, I found myself learning this skill and at the same time sharing with my coaching clients how to learn. I thought one of the best thing I could leave behind for Joy is to teach her how to learn. A life skill that will benefit her and for generations to come.
What does learning to learn means? The first thing is about giving up the fear of failure! Boy that is tough thing to do. Even for a grown adult like me, and fortunately for Joy she does not have the legacy that I have accumulated. Learning to learn means that is is okay to make mistakes, it is okay to get it wrong… the world will not collapse if the answer is not quite exact. It is about tenacity and keeping a curious mind to search for what is possible?
So I am trying to put a structure around this, that is: before she ask me anything, think of 3 other possible ways to solve her problem at hand. Let’s see what I will learn from this experiment!
Wishing you abundance!
Ben
Filed under: Uncategorized
We have been in China for more than 3 years now and this October holiday was the first time that we sat together as a family and enjoyed the firework display out of our balcony. We put out Joy’s little Ikea table and had tea and tidbits (in true Chinese style) while watching the spectacular fireworks.
It occured to me that this simple gesture of sitting around as a family (Darrell, mom, Joy and I) was the first time that we really sat around and did nothing, except enjoying the moment. I felt immense peace and happiness just with doing a simple activity like this. None of my branded clothes, bags and shoes have ever brought this feeling for me.
I am beginning to learn to enjoy simple things and living a simple life. The importance is having my loved ones around and being together while we can.
Who would you like to spend more time with? What simple activities can you engage in?
Enjoy yourselves!
Filed under: Uncategorized
I have learnt about blogs for about a year now, in fact have read and researched about it. Apart from accumulating knowledge about it, I have never written a blog posts. I am finally doing this because of a short 15 minutes coaching with a wonderful coach who succeeded in helping me to move into actions.
Before this, I had numerous reasons for not starting, road blocks that is either technically there or because I have put it up myself. I wonder if you have areas in your life that is similar to my experience?
Even now, I am not sure how this works really, but I will venture a little into my unknown area and see how far I can shine the light on it. Funnily, unknown areas are different for different people, and we can learn by asking about other people’s experience, but it only becomes real for us once we have taken the first step.
Have a wonderful life!
